A Mark Twain Short

During Mark Twain’s trip around the world he became acquainted with a lady who suffered from some ailment the ship’s doctor could not cure. When Twain became aware of her problem he told her he could cure her in four days if she would follow his instructions.

She agreed and he told her she must:

Stop swearing
Stop smoking
Stop drinking.

“But I don’t do any of those things,” she said.

“Then I can’t help you,”