100-Day Challenge – Day 23

LoopImagine you receive a pet collar that can translate everything a pet thinks. Using a cat, dog, chameleon, or whatever pet of your choosing, write a two-page dialogue where you communicate with them. Do they say anything beyond the food they like, and why?

Length: two-page dialogue

^ ^ ^

Mr. Black - 7-2011

Mr. Black came to us from a Texas animal shelter about twelve years ago. That makes him about 84. He’s turning gray in the face. He’s sometimes stiff in the mornings. But I have yet to see him grouchy. He suffers with old age problems and this past month we invested nearly $300 with the veterinarian last month having an abscessed tooth removed and an infection treated. With only a few teeth left he has trouble chewing bones, and he gives up quickly. Therefore, I’ve gone to cutting a few bones with side cutters. He still isn’t grouchy..

As for a translation collar? We don’t need one. Body language says it all.

One would think that a fur-covered face would be difficult to read. Perhaps that would be true if we didn’t know our housemate so well. As I stated earlier that he’d never been in a bad mood. However, he came close about a year ago when he was concerned about a jacket we’d given to him.

Our oldest daughter bought me a fleece-line jacket a number of years ago. It was comfortable and I wore it until it was showing it’s age. The winter season was upon us when I decided to dispose of it. However, rather than literally disposing of it, Mr. Black received a hand-me-down. Actions often speak louder than words, and knew he was grateful.

Barb washes it regularly in order to keep his bed from smelling so much like a dog. One windy morning I felt a chill in the house. Mr. Black’s jacket was freshly laundered and dried, but still with the rest of the clothing on the bed. The furnace had already kicked in, so rather than go to the closet, I decided to use HIS jacket until the house warmed. A few minutes later he recognized the jacket I was wearing was his and the body language was loud and clear.

While discussing this collar business there is another story I’m compelled to share.

A friend was going to engage in preseason deer hunting. The game wardens were on the lookout for such culprits as the one in question, so he devised a plan.

He invested in a anti-bark-dog-collar. He put it around his neck he explained to his wife that she was his lookout. She would drive the car to a nearby rise and if he saw a game warden she was to key the transmitter that came with the collar. His collar would shock him and he knew it was time to hide his rifle.

When everything was set. After he started off into the brush and she started the car.

No one knew about the bad spark plug wire. As soon as she started the engine it began transmitting a signal that engulfed the entire radio frequency spectrum and shocking him about three times every second.

“SHUT THE CAR OFF!” he shouted from the brush.

“WHAT? She shouted back, thrusting her head out the window.

In the meantime he finally managed to rid himself of it and charged from the brush and sprinted for the car.

He’d had enough hunting for that day..